Lazy Saturdays

Athena was gone visiting family with her brother,sister and cousin today. It was nice to spend the day being lazy and loving up on the husband. Life really is so much happier since we moved here.

Lovin' It!!!

Where's my hug??

Usually when I get home from work I get a hug and kiss from my daughter. And if I don't later in the evening I pull her aside.and say something along the line of "where's my hug?" Or "you forgot my kiss."

Tonight the tables were turned. I got busy being grumpy and completely forgot. After esconsing myself in the bedroom for awhile my daughter knocked. I let her in and the first thing out of her mouth was "Mommy, you forgot my hug".

I felt like a heel. I was so busy wrapped up in my irritability I forgotten what was most important. The love of the ones I live with.

Which brings me to the main reason for this post. A month or so ago I went shopping at Dollar General for some cleaning supplies with Athena. She was being rather "I-need-y" and was bugging me to buy her something.... anything... everything.

We walked down an aisle where an elderly man worked. He had, of course, heard me tell my 4 year old several times she couldn't have something.

He smiled at me and asked if I had a moment to talk. I did. He.started by explaining he would be turning 80 in the next couple of days and could remember so many precious things about his daughter who now had children of her own.

When he came home after serving in the Korean War he and his wife were very broke. In order to advance in his career he went to night school and to support his family he worked full tome plus extra hours. He would come home in the afternoon to sleep 20 minutes before heading off again. Those 20 minutes were so special to him because his daughter would beg to sleep next to him. He would tell her she could only if she would remain still. She would, but just as he would start drifting off to sleep she would reach up and rub his cheek.

That simple act of love stayed with him as did many others. He told me he had forgotten several over time but that he would remember them again off and on.

He smiled then and gave me a priceless piece of advice that I've been meaning to put into action. Finally tonight I am. He said the moments that we parents find so precious tend to slip from our memory as we age. We don't remember them so we don't share them with our kids as they age. The best thing would be to write them down. So when our children want to know about the good stuff its right there in black and white.

I'm gonna try to do just that. Because Athena is precious. And she's worth it.

Momma Drama

Nov 2012 my mom gave me her nook. She wanted me to keep the account, but change the credit card to mine. So I did. Now that I've kicked my mother out, she's resorted to doing this (on her facebook status): Cali You will Remove YOUR Credit Card Number and Name From My Account ASAP. I have taken this problem to Barns and Nobel now I will take it to the Police If you DO NOT Leave MY ACCOUNT ALONE. So I reply : Excuse me? You gave me your nook that had the account already on it. We discussed this at length and at the time you were going to put your new nook on the account as raecoffee@hotmail.com, not raecoffee@hot.ail.com Don't threaten me. You gave me the nook, you have all my information on the nook, including my credit card information, you changed my password on it, and now you have MY books, MY credit card, MY account. YOU are the one in the wrong, so ya' better put it right. You DID NOT have my permission to take the account after you had given it to me. Therefor YOU are the thief. What's wrong? Can't find anyone else to pay your truck for you and now you're grasping straws to place blame? Maybe one of these days you'll grow up and realize no one's going to take care of you -you actually have to get a damn job and take care of yourself. Stop living off others for a change. I sincerely hope Uncle Raymond doesn't get saddled with you. For a fact none of your daughters want anything to do with you - you've mooched off all of us 1 too many times. So she replied: Nice try but u left a paper trail that a blind man could follow So I replied: You have 24 hours to remove your things from MY shed. The countdown starts @10:00 PM 1/27/13. If you have not removed your belongings they will be placed in the dumpster. You also have 24 hours from the time stated above to return our shed key AND our Saturn key. If they are not returned in the afore mentioned time charges of theft will be placed. If James Meadows is not notified when you return to pick up your belongings we will look at it as unlawful entry and charges will be pressed. Even though you have our key it is still our property and as such you will notify us of your arrival Nothing like momma drama. She's gonna like it a hell of a lot when I put all her shit in the dumpster. James says I shouldn't call the cops on the keys but quite frankly I wouldn't put it past her to try to steal the Saturn. So, for the sake of insurance, I'm going to turn her in. Sigh. Will my life ever be normal?

What's the difference?

Last week sucked. Well, Monday was fine. Tuesday a friend said some mean things and put me in a funk. Well, I guess I'll tell the whole thing. Monday the tea tasted strong to me, so I asked the maker (Tammy)how many bags she used to make it. She said just the normal, and we went on with our business as usual. Then Tuesday I go into the break room first thing in the morning and I found the tea maker. Usually it's inside the room that she's in, and she makes the tea. Well, I went ahead and made tea, figuring she was upset. She's usually passive-aggressive about things. So at first break I went in and asked her if that was her way of passive-aggressively telling me she was upset at what I said. She was rude in telling me yes. Well I apologized for offending her. She then proceeded to say mean things trying deliberately to hurt/upset me. It worked. I don't let anyone treat me that way, certainly not people I call friend. So I took her shit out of my locker and set it on her desk. That upset me but I managed to make it. When I got home James wanted me to go out for supper. So on my way out the door my mom asked me to get her something, and brought out cash. I was surprised, considering she quit her job more than a month ago and had said she had no money whatsoever. So I asked her where she got it and she said she got a loan. Eventually it came out that she'd gotten a title loan about a week prior. Well, leading up to this for a couple of weeks we had been saving money and borrowing money so she could go to stay with my Uncle in Minot. She had been talking about going for awhile, so we told her we'd make it happen. So for a week she'd been deceiving us, knowing full well what we were planning and got the money and not telling us she had the money. Now, to understand my mom, I have to give back story. Mom had moved here after running out of money in Denver. I'm the only kid out of 4 girls that would help her. We brought her up here and after a month, she found a job. A job that she quit less than 30 days later. Anyway, we'd been supporting her as best we could. So we were pissed that she'd been lying. There was a huge fight and she ended up leaving the next morning. Needless to say I felt horrible. I didn't mean for her to leave. She's living in her truck (she has a topper) and doesn't do well in the cold. We were her only way of getting heat. Well that put me into a funk. I was upset. Very. I took the day off and called my sister. She helped me feel better, but I still worry about mom. So, right now I don't feel emotionally upset or sad, just a bit worried. BUT I've had symptoms of depression. I want to isolate myself completely, have been having nasty anxiety. I need lots of sleep. So there you have it. My week last week in a nutshell. Maybe I should seriously think about blogging again. It's very therapeutic for me.

Relationships

It's funny how relationships can either be there or..... not. After all the help I've given both a friend and family both decided the relationship wasn't worth keeping. My friend from work was offended by something I said and took passive-aggressive measures to tell me. When I approached her about it she did say I offended her and I appologised. Instead of accepting or refusing my apology, though, she spouted a bunch of rude and hurtful things.It was ... well, hurtful. I ended up very upset, crying at work. I made it through the day and went home. It wasn't any better at home. Long story short I found out my mom had been deceitful about some issues. She felt she was a burden on us and blamed me for that feeling despite the many times I had told her otherwise. After a rather lengthy argument James unplugged her and she took it as an eviction notice. I didn't want that but what was done was done. We even replugged her. She left the next morning. It hurt. But after talking to my youngest sister I came to accept that blame is just how mom is. She blames everyone else for her problems and she always will. I'm better, but sad. I wanted a mom. Oh well.