Panic. My heart is thudding so hard I feel it in my head. I have butterflies in my tummy so bad... omg. I hate freaking out like this.

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Met with the bf tonight. He tied me up. It was...... amazing... awesome.... just, wow.

I so adore that man.

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The need to eat: is it at all related to being manic? For some reason I feel like stuffing my face all day today. It's not good.

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My 'need' to spend money yesterday evening cost us too much. Its really not a good thing, and this morning I feel guilty and... dumb.

What was I thinking?

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What a Fucking ass.

So, husband is telling me to shut the fuck up. With those words. He says I have to accept his smoking in the car because he has a problem with it.
I'm not with him emotionally anymore.

And it was his choice to push me away.

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